Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Keeping It the Same

The most obvious option if you are having trouble with taking on your husband's name is just not to take his name and keep your name the same as it is. This is an option I considered but it wasn't for me. Getting married is the ultimate commitment a couple can make. This commitment is made to each other but is also a public statement to the world and higher beings. Our first and foremost reason for getting married is to make this commitment to each other. But as much as I hate it we are also making this commitment because it validates our relationship to society. Some people might scoff at that statement but it's true. We have been together for 8 years but a couple that has been together for 2 years who married after a year of dating is given more importance because they are married and we are just dating even if our relationship is just as or more loving, stable and committed. If we didn't care about this commitment/statement we wouldn't get married and we would go on dating as we have but obviously this commitment is important to us. Carrying a shared name is one way the world recognizes this statement made by a couple. It might be silly and I am a bit ashamed of it but I want the world to recognize and value our relationship the way the two of us have for the last 8 years. On top of it all if we have children then we will be confronted with the issue of whose last name do we give the children. One of us will end up not sharing a name with our children which will cause people to question if they are both of our children and will confuse more people than it's worth.

1 comment:

AisforAlottaloveforvisforvows said...

Thats deep.. didnt know you though about it so ya